Being the “good girl” may earn you praise—but it can also leave you overworked, undervalued and afraid to disappoint anyone.
Betsy sits down with psychologist, coach and author Michelle Minnikin to talk about Good Girl Deprogramming and the expectations women are taught from an early age: be nice, be helpful, don’t rock the boat and put everyone else first.
They explore how those rules follow women into the workplace, why resentment can be a sign that your boundaries are being crossed and how to start changing the patterns without attempting a complete personality transplant overnight.
They also talk about people-pleasing, visibility, self-promotion and Michelle’s definition of entering your “villain era”—which isn’t about becoming the bad guy. It’s about becoming more comfortable with who you are, even when someone else doesn’t like it.
In this episode:
-What good-girl conditioning looks like professionally
-The credibility-versus-likability tightrope
-Why capable women become the workplace “worker bee”
-How resentment helps reveal your boundaries
-Small experiments that make boundary-setting easier
-Why women struggle to promote themselves
-How to stop spending so much energy managing everyone else’s opinion
Learn more about Michelle and find Good Girl Deprogramming: michelleminnikin.com
Chapters
00:00 What “Good Girl” Conditioning Teaches Us
04:06 How Good Girls Show Up at Work
08:23 Deprogramming Starts with Small Steps
12:01 Resentment Is a Boundary Warning Sign
14:20 Experimenting with Boundaries
17:45 When Competence Turns You into the Worker Bee
21:10 Entering Your Villain Era
24:12 Becoming “Unfuckwithable”
25:11 Why “Let Them” Isn’t Always Enough
27:18 Who Pushes Back When Women Change
29:38 One Practice to Begin Deprogramming
31:20 Where to Connect with Michelle
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