Quick Lift: Where Motherhoods Meets Ambition

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Welcome to Loud and Lifted. I'm your host, Betsy

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Hamm. And in this quick lift episode, we're spotlighting

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the wisdom of Dr. Linda Fidriese Williams, college

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president and trailblazer for women in leadership,

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especially moms. In her episode, she shared both

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personal experience and powerful insights from

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her doctoral research on women in leadership.

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We dove into guilt. sacrifice, support systems,

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and what it truly takes to thrive without losing

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yourself in the process. Today, we're going to

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break down the four key takeaways from owning

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your next chapter without the guilt, chaos, or

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second guessing in less than 10 minutes. You'll

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walk away with fresh perspective and real actions

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you can take right now. Whether you're eyeing

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the C -suite or simply trying to balance ambition

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with family life, these insights are your roadmap.

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So when Linda told me about her doctoral research,

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it was so interesting because as I read through

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it, it literally sounded like a recap of all

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of the episodes that we've had of Loud and Lifted

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so far. She did her research on college presidents

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who were women. However, her findings were literally

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what we've been talking about at Loud and Lifted

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just through a few guests. So let's break down

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what some of her big findings were and what the

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takeaways are to do something about it. The first

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segment we talked about was the myth of balance

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and the reality of guilt. As we've discussed,

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there's no such thing as balancing. There's no

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way to have everything fair and equal in your

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life when it comes to family and home and being

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a wife, having to deal with maybe aging parents

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and, oh, by the way, your job. The best I can

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attribute to, and I've said this before, is juggling.

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We have all these balls in the air, and sometimes

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something's gonna drop, and it's not always gonna

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be pretty, and it sure as hell isn't gonna be

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perfect, but... We have to do the best that we

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can and not have that guilt to know that we're

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not going to do everything perfectly all the

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time. And we don't have to go so far above and

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beyond. Like we don't have to make cookies. That's

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at least what I told myself when my kids were

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younger. I can certainly just go by the ones

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that giant and everything's going to be fine.

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So we have that reality of the guilt that we're

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not doing everything that we need to. And a lot

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of times it's self -inflicted. Let's be honest.

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Maybe we're being judged by the other moms. But

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again, that goes back to the shittiness of women.

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But at the end of the day, we're our toughest

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critics. So we need to chill about the fact that

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we're not going to be there for everything and

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everybody all the time. Time is also our greatest

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scarcity for our children, for our spouses, and

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even for ourselves. That goes back to earlier

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conversations about making sure we're taking

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time for ourselves too. So that led into the

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second part of our conversation, which was around

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sacrifice, support, and that invisible load.

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Now, again, we've had conversations about outsourcing

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where we can, domestic work, whether it's cleaning

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or childcare. And there was a comment she made.

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It was that you either outsource, delegate, or

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let it go. And that's so true. There's some things

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that we can outsource, and that's awesome. There's

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other tasks maybe that we need to delegate, whether

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it's asking someone to pick up our kids or asking

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her husband to unload the dishwasher. or fold

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the clothes, whatever it is, sometimes we have

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to ask for help. And I know I've been guilty

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of that in the past where I just want to figure

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it out and I'll do it all on my own. And I want

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it to be done right. And we just can't. We have

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to let go of that. And we have to get the support

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around us. So whether it's from your spouse,

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like we talked about on our dad's issue for Father's

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Day, or other family members or neighbors, you've

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got to take the first step and at least ask for

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the help. The next part that we talked about

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was motherhood as leadership training. is interesting

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and honestly not something I really have thought

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about. I've been a mom for 17 years, but didn't

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cross my mind. All the participants in her study

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agreed that motherhood made them better leaders.

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And I love that skills like time management,

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empathy, conflict resolution and multitasking

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were directly tied to parenting. And for those

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of you who are parents, you know, those are things

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that we do a lot of the time. So honing in on

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those skills because you're doing them more often.

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I'll imagine practicing something and getting

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better at it ends up being able to do something

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that we become better at as a leader perspective.

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And I think that I love that so much. Authenticity

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and consistency in both roles created stronger

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connections with teams and family. I think that's

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so true. I think a lot of times when your boss

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is a parent, whether male or female, there's

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a little bit more empathy of the situation and

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understanding the juggling that you are trying

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to do. The next thing we talked about was trying

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to redefine leadership for women. And that just

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comes from those who are managers or who are

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the employers. We have to adapt and support to

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women leaders. So whether it's policies or flexibility,

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mentorship, cultural shifts are necessary. Linda

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mentioned about she's very cognizant of not scheduling

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meetings super early in the morning because the

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people schedule or maybe it's the very end of

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the day because we know life happens and we have

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kids to pick up and sporting events to attend

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to. So just being considerate of our team members,

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male or female schedule, is really important.

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And again, this goes back to the support piece

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as well. So those are some of the highlights

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from her research and as I mentioned it was really

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a lot of the same conversation now backed by

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research that we've had on Loud and Lifted over

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our first few guests. So what are the takeaways

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that we can do to be better? The advice that

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she had for moms aspiring to leadership roles.

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The first was building that support network.

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So again, outsource, delegate, let it go. What

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can you have other people help you with and what

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do you just need to get over? The second part

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was getting organized. And this is true. And

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this actually goes back to Julia's episode where

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she was very organized and very intentional with

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her time and her calendar. And I love that. And

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that's something that I've been trying to do

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at the beginning of my week. And honestly, even

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during the day, I've had to start blocking out

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chunks of time that I'm working on things. I

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came from a culture where there was a lot of

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meetings that kind of controlled my calendar

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and helped me be organized. But with more flexibility

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in my current role, I have to block out chunks

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of time so that I'm focusing on something. maybe

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for 30 minutes or an hour, but I'm prioritizing

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when and how much time I'm focused on. The other

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thing I think from a personal perspective is

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have a cozy calendar app. That would be my little

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plug. It's an app that we all and my family have

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on our phone that is a calendar that everybody

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can see. So when something goes on it, we all

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get a notification. Whoever has to attend gets

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a notification. And that way there's not that,

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oh, I told you I have to work or I told you I

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have this event. If it doesn't, if it's not on

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the calendar, it doesn't exist. So just something

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that helps to really keep us organized of knowing

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who's gonna be where or where we have to be,

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and that my kids don't try to make plans and

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say that they didn't know that we were doing

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something with our family. So just a little tip,

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but again, it's just going back to getting organized

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on your day and then on your week, and that really

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is personally and professionally. Another reoccurring

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theme was finding the right fit. You don't have

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to force your ambition into a life that doesn't

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work for you. The right environment honors your

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values and also leads to authenticity. And again,

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we'll go back to the Julia example and even Julie,

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it's doing what you want and doing it where somebody

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values you. And I understand that sometimes you

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might be in a situation where you don't feel

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that, but then what are you going to do about

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it? What steps are you going to take to change

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your environment or change that role that you're

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in, in order to feel that you do have the right

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fit? So I would encourage you to ask yourself,

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does this opportunity align with my life or am

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I bending my life to fit the opportunity? Be

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honest and adjust. And the last piece of advice

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Linda had for moms aspiring to be in leadership

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roles was to believe in yourself. This is so

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weird. I don't think we've talked about confidence

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yet on this podcast, have we? A reoccurring theme

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for sure. Self doubt is loud, but your purpose

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is louder and you have to remember you're qualified

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and you're capable and you're ready, even if

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you don't feel like you are. Again, all participants

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in her study agreed motherhood made them better

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leaders. So don't take that as a negative. If

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you feel like that's a quote distraction, it's

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not, it's making you a better leader. So believe

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in yourself. And if you're having that self doubt,

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figure out how you can improve on that. What

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can you do? And again, it's going to be one little

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win at a time. You don't have to do it all and

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you definitely don't have to do it alone. If

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you're a mother with big leadership dreams, remember

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the path is possible and it's yours to define.

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Build the right support system, get clear on

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what works for you and believe, truly believe

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that you belong at the table. because motherhood

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doesn't hold you back from leadership. It prepares

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you for it. If you haven't listened to Linda's

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episode, please make sure to do so. As always,

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if this episode resonated with you, please like

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it, share it with a friend, and don't forget

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to follow us on Instagram and TikTok. Until next

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time, stay loud and lifted.