Quick Lift: How to Show Up, Speak Up & Lift Others

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Welcome to loud and lifted quick lifts the bite

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-sized boost you didn't know you needed I'm your

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host Betsy ham and in less time than it takes

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to order your coffee We're diving deeper into

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the conversations that got us thinking feeling

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and fired up from a previous episode Because

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sometimes you just need an extra spark Let's

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dive more into my conversation with Kim Schaller

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While there are many great takeaways, three stood

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out that we can take action on this week. First

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up, clear the path. Don't just walk it. As we

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talked about, Kim didn't just climb the ladder.

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She sent it back down for others. Success isn't

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just about you. It's about who's coming with

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you or after you. I have to be honest, in case

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you haven't caught on, this is probably one of

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my biggest pet peeves is when women don't support

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other women. And a lot of times it comes down

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to the scarcity mindset. And that's where individuals

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perceive resources, including success, are limited

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or finite. Of course, this is crazy. We're not

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in competition. And because insecurities, confidence

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issues come into play, it tends to be the driver

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behind this. Now, we're certainly not going to

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solve this in this 10 minute episode of what

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to do about insecurities and confidence. But

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what we can do is start taking small steps to

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be more supportive of each other. If you're a

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leader of a team, you need your team to do well

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in order for you to be able to continue to grow.

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And even if you don't have people reporting to

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you, the people around you need to have their

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support and they need to have yours. I've seen

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this. lack of support at every level, whether

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it's at the entry level and people are just getting

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started or even at the CEO level. I'd certainly

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experienced that as a CEO where maybe other women

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CEOs weren't supportive. What are we possibly

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in competition for? We both have the title. We

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both have these great jobs. So what's the concern?

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And I will say this is where men do really well

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and this goes back to I think how the boys club

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gets started Men tend to support each other.

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They recommend each other They talk about each

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other in a positive light and maybe sometimes

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they're loyal to a fault But at the end of the

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day they are taking the actions in public to

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be able to support each other in order to grow

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now the other piece of this too is I think as

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women the comments that we say about each other

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are nasty and I have a hundred percent dealt

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with this in the past where I'm attacked and

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it's okay if someone doesn't like me or doesn't

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like my style. The way that they attack you from

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a very personal issue is very devastating. Things

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that women will say about other women in positions

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of power they would never say about men. They

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would never say about physical appearance or

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why you got your job or what you're good at.

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and never go over your head because you are a

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woman. The way that women treat each other has

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been, I have experienced, has been just absolutely

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nasty. And I guarantee you, if it was a man who

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was in those positions and in those situations,

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he would never would have been handled that way.

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And again, this wasn't from them. This was from

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other women in my life. So. I will get off my

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soapbox because I could go on for this one for

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hours. But at the end of the day, let's support

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each other. The whole freaking point of my podcast,

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right, is how do we be more supportive? So what

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can you do? It's easier said than done. I get

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that. Some people struggle with this, but let's

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take little steps. So today, this week, this

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month, be intentional about recommending or advocating

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for another woman when she's not in the room.

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Maybe it's suggesting someone to be part of a

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project or a panel or a promotion, or maybe it's

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just talking positively about someone on your

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team or another team to a superior. It's little

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actions like that, but they go a long way. By

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the way, if you're not doing this and you think

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that people don't notice, You're wrong. When

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you don't support other women, everybody catches

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onto that, not just women, but men. They realize

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this selfish, self -consumed behavior, and it's

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not a good look. It's not going to help you grow

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and to be able to succeed when people are going

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to catch on to the fact that you're too insecure

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to support those around you. So back to the action

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item. I'm going to stop off of this one, but

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be intentional about supporting other women when

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she's not in the room. Alright, opportunity number

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two to focus on is you got to step up and you

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got to get outside your comfort zone. I love

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that Kim talked about telling people that when

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they're at a networking event that they needed

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to go talk to the executives in the room, they

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needed that exposure. One of the biggest takeaways

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I have had from Kim over the 20 some years is

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in fact that something I carried on to my teams

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through the years of, hey, if you're at an event,

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go talk to somebody you don't know, get away

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from your friends. And events are one thing,

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but this can go in your day to day. Say you're

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in an office setting and you have a lunch room.

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Say hi to the person while you're getting your

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coffee. Maybe it's an executive, maybe it's just

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somebody in a different department, but put yourself

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out there and get that exposure in order for

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people to know who you are. Exposure is huge

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and raising your hand in meetings, volunteering

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for projects, maybe suggesting that you're be

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part of a committee. It's just putting yourself

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out there and getting that exposure. I think

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the other piece of this that's so simple goes

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back to one of the items in the whole Lean In

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book, right? And that's about having a seat at

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the table. And so often I have experienced this

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throughout my entire career. And any woman, young

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woman, especially on my team, know that I will

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call them out for this. You go into a conference

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room, there's seats at the table, there's seats

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in the back. Women tend to just go grab the seat

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in the back, sit at the fricking table. It's

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pretty easy. Stealing that one from Linen, but

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I think that is so true. There's a lot of validity

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to that. So you want the opportunity, you got

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to step up. And that includes talking to people,

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putting yourself out there, raising your hand

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for the project, and just being comfortable with

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being uncomfortable. Action item for this week.

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Pick one opportunity you've been hesitating on

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and say yes. Speak up in a meeting, apply for

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the thing, volunteer for the project, raise your

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hand. And number three that Kim talked about

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is empathy for others. Every woman is carrying

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something you don't see. So assume positive intent.

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Offer grace before judgment. Look, we all have

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our stuff. Could be dealing with aging parents,

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kids, spouses, even a sick animal. We don't know

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what's going on with people, so sometimes just

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give them the benefit of the doubt. It's not

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always about you. If you're really struggling

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and you continue to struggle with the same person,

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then talk to them. See if they're OK. Maybe they

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just need someone to acknowledge the fact that

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they're struggling. You have to show up for others

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and you have to be supportive. I saw this great

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quote that I wanted to share. Kindness isn't

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just an action, it's a ripple effect. Every small

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act creates waves of positivity on ways you might

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never see. And that's so true. You know how we

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talk about like the random acts of kindness and

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doing the good deeds and, you know, buying somebody

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a coffee at Starbucks that's behind you. That's

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awesome. And we should continue those types of

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opportunities. But think about how you can do

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that in your day. It's very little things of

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just sometimes checking in with somebody or asking

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them how they are doing. You do see that they're

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struggling. And again, sometimes you have to

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just assume that people have positive intent.

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And if they don't, then have the conversation

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with them. So action item today, if you feel

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the urge to critique another woman, pause and

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find one thing to affirm instead. And if you

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know that you're dealing with somebody who is

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struggling, reach out. Just check in with them.

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See if they are OK. Just offer any support that

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you can. So we have our three action items. Number

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one, today, intentionally recommend or advocate

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for a woman when she's not in the room, whether

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it's a project, a panel, or promotion. Number

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two, get. outside of your comfort zone. Raise

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your hand, volunteer, sit at the table, talk

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to somebody new, network outside of your circle,

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but put yourself out there. And thirdly, if you're

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feeling the urge to critique another woman, pause

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and find one thing to affirm instead. And if

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you know she's struggling, check in with her

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and have an authentic conversation. Thanks for

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tuning in to this quick lift. If you haven't

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listened to Kim's episode, go check out episode

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number two now. If this sparked something in

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you, please don't keep it to yourself. Share

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it with the women in your circle. Subscribe,

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leave review, and keep coming back for more lifts

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and bold moves. Until next time, keep rising

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and keep lifting.