Quick Lift: How to Show Up, Speak Up & Lift Others

0:00 Welcome to loud and lifted quick lifts the bite -sized boost you didn't know you needed I'm your host Betsy ham and in less time than it takes to order your coffee We're diving deeper into the conversations that got us thinking feeling and fired up from a previous episode Because sometimes you just need an extra spark Let's dive more into my conversation with Kim Schaller While there are many great takeaways, three stood out that we can take action on this week. First up, clear the path. Don't just walk it. As we talked about, Kim didn't just climb the ladder.

0:41 She sent it back down for others. Success isn't just about you. It's about who's coming with you or after you. I have to be honest, in case you haven't caught on, this is probably one of my biggest pet peeves is when women don't support other women. And a lot of times it comes down to the scarcity mindset. And that's where individuals perceive resources, including success, are limited or finite. Of course, this is crazy. We're not in competition. And because insecurities, confidence issues come into play, it tends to be the driver behind this. Now, we're certainly not going to solve this in this 10 minute episode of what to do about insecurities and confidence. But what we can do is start taking small steps to be more supportive of each other. If you're a leader of a team, you need your team to do well in order for you to be able to continue to grow.

1:27 And even if you don't have people reporting to you, the people around you need to have their support and they need to have yours. I've seen this. lack of support at every level, whether it's at the entry level and people are just getting started or even at the CEO level. I'd certainly experienced that as a CEO where maybe other women CEOs weren't supportive. What are we possibly in competition for? We both have the title. We both have these great jobs. So what's the concern? And I will say this is where men do really well and this goes back to I think how the boys club gets started Men tend to support each other. They recommend each other They talk about each other in a positive light and maybe sometimes they're loyal to a fault But at the end of the day they are taking the actions in public to be able to support each other in order to grow now the other piece of this too is I think as women the comments that we say about each other are nasty and I have a hundred percent dealt with this in the past where I'm attacked and it's okay if someone doesn't like me or doesn't like my style. The way that they attack you from a very personal issue is very devastating. Things that women will say about other women in positions of power they would never say about men. They would never say about physical appearance or why you got your job or what you're good at.

2:49 and never go over your head because you are a woman. The way that women treat each other has been, I have experienced, has been just absolutely nasty. And I guarantee you, if it was a man who was in those positions and in those situations, he would never would have been handled that way. And again, this wasn't from them. This was from other women in my life. So. I will get off my soapbox because I could go on for this one for hours. But at the end of the day, let's support each other. The whole freaking point of my podcast, right, is how do we be more supportive? So what can you do? It's easier said than done. I get that. Some people struggle with this, but let's take little steps. So today, this week, this month, be intentional about recommending or advocating for another woman when she's not in the room.

3:33 Maybe it's suggesting someone to be part of a project or a panel or a promotion, or maybe it's just talking positively about someone on your team or another team to a superior. It's little actions like that, but they go a long way. By the way, if you're not doing this and you think that people don't notice, You're wrong. When you don't support other women, everybody catches onto that, not just women, but men. They realize this selfish, self -consumed behavior, and it's not a good look. It's not going to help you grow and to be able to succeed when people are going to catch on to the fact that you're too insecure to support those around you. So back to the action item. I'm going to stop off of this one, but be intentional about supporting other women when she's not in the room. Alright, opportunity number two to focus on is you got to step up and you got to get outside your comfort zone. I love that Kim talked about telling people that when they're at a networking event that they needed to go talk to the executives in the room, they needed that exposure. One of the biggest takeaways I have had from Kim over the 20 some years is in fact that something I carried on to my teams through the years of, hey, if you're at an event, go talk to somebody you don't know, get away from your friends. And events are one thing, but this can go in your day to day. Say you're in an office setting and you have a lunch room.

4:51 Say hi to the person while you're getting your coffee. Maybe it's an executive, maybe it's just somebody in a different department, but put yourself out there and get that exposure in order for people to know who you are. Exposure is huge and raising your hand in meetings, volunteering for projects, maybe suggesting that you're be part of a committee. It's just putting yourself out there and getting that exposure. I think the other piece of this that's so simple goes back to one of the items in the whole Lean In book, right? And that's about having a seat at the table. And so often I have experienced this throughout my entire career. And any woman, young woman, especially on my team, know that I will call them out for this. You go into a conference room, there's seats at the table, there's seats in the back. Women tend to just go grab the seat in the back, sit at the fricking table. It's pretty easy. Stealing that one from Linen, but I think that is so true. There's a lot of validity to that. So you want the opportunity, you got to step up. And that includes talking to people, putting yourself out there, raising your hand for the project, and just being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Action item for this week.

5:59 Pick one opportunity you've been hesitating on and say yes. Speak up in a meeting, apply for the thing, volunteer for the project, raise your hand. And number three that Kim talked about is empathy for others. Every woman is carrying something you don't see. So assume positive intent. Offer grace before judgment. Look, we all have our stuff. Could be dealing with aging parents, kids, spouses, even a sick animal. We don't know what's going on with people, so sometimes just give them the benefit of the doubt. It's not always about you. If you're really struggling and you continue to struggle with the same person, then talk to them. See if they're OK. Maybe they just need someone to acknowledge the fact that they're struggling. You have to show up for others and you have to be supportive. I saw this great quote that I wanted to share. Kindness isn't just an action, it's a ripple effect. Every small act creates waves of positivity on ways you might never see. And that's so true. You know how we talk about like the random acts of kindness and doing the good deeds and, you know, buying somebody a coffee at Starbucks that's behind you. That's awesome. And we should continue those types of opportunities. But think about how you can do that in your day. It's very little things of just sometimes checking in with somebody or asking them how they are doing. You do see that they're struggling. And again, sometimes you have to just assume that people have positive intent.

7:20 And if they don't, then have the conversation with them. So action item today, if you feel the urge to critique another woman, pause and find one thing to affirm instead. And if you know that you're dealing with somebody who is struggling, reach out. Just check in with them. See if they are OK. Just offer any support that you can. So we have our three action items. Number one, today, intentionally recommend or advocate for a woman when she's not in the room, whether it's a project, a panel, or promotion. Number two, get. outside of your comfort zone. Raise your hand, volunteer, sit at the table, talk to somebody new, network outside of your circle, but put yourself out there. And thirdly, if you're feeling the urge to critique another woman, pause and find one thing to affirm instead. And if you know she's struggling, check in with her and have an authentic conversation. Thanks for tuning in to this quick lift. If you haven't listened to Kim's episode, go check out episode number two now. If this sparked something in you, please don't keep it to yourself. Share it with the women in your circle. Subscribe, leave review, and keep coming back for more lifts and bold moves. Until next time, keep rising and keep lifting.