Quick Lift: Flipping the Script on Self Doubt

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Welcome to Loud and Lifted. I'm your host, Betsy

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Hamm. And in this quick lift episode, we're revisiting

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the powerful conversation with Jill Avey, leadership

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and career coach and founder of Sister Smart,

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who helps women step into bigger roles with confidence

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and clarity. This episode unpacks what's really

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standing in our way. And spoiler, it's not just

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a lack of skill or experience. It's our mindset.

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We talk about limiting beliefs, saboteurs, and

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the pressure to please, and what executive presence

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really means. And under 10 minutes, you'll walk

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away with powerful reframes, tactical tools,

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and a reminder that confidence is a practice,

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not a personality trait. Let's dig in. The first

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key takeaway, your saboteurs are loud, but you

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can talk louder. Jill talked about limiting beliefs

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and how they're your saboteurs. And just to clarify,

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a limiting belief is the internal story that

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you believe because you've been telling it to

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yourself for so long. So we all do that. Maybe

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I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm

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not outgoing enough. Any of those things can

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be limiting beliefs you have about yourself.

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So what do you do? You have to change that. And

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it starts with one identifying what are those

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limiting beliefs that you have been telling yourself

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that aren't true. Then you have to challenge

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those limits. limiting beliefs that you have

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and you need to reframe them. You need to start

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telling a different story. It's just a shift.

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Jill said about saying, and that's not like me.

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When you think of some of those limiting beliefs,

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you're retraining your brain to become the version

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of who you want to be. I gave the example when

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she was talking about it, even sometimes it can

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be something very tactical. In the beginning

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of my career, I remember thinking I wasn't good

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with numbers. I wasn't good with accounting or

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finances and that kind of thing. And I started

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to believe that just because at that time marketing

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people weren't typically good with numbers. And

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I realized that wasn't really true. Sure. It's

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not my strength, not probably the best thing.

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I'm never going to be hired to be a VP of finance,

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but I started to believe that. So I had to really

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start to flip the script. I did some work, so

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I became better at that as well. But I started

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saying, no, I like numbers. I'm not bad at math.

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I'm not bad at numbers. And eventually, I started

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to believe the story, essentially, that I was

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telling myself. And I stopped saying that to

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other people, because that's part of it, too,

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is when we're constantly putting ourselves down,

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oh, I'm not organized was Jill's example, then

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people start to repeat that back to you. So now

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you're having that reinforced as well as having

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it in your own head, which we just have to kill

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it all. We just have to stop. and we need to

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reframe it and we need to start telling ourselves

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a different story. So action item for this one,

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pick one of those limiting beliefs, one of those

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thoughts that you have in your head and rewrite

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it. Start with a that's not like me and follow

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it up with the behavior or mindset you want to

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embody. Second takeaway, executive presence isn't

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a buzzword, it's your next level. Executive presence

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is what signals to others that your leadership

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ready. It's made up of communication, gravitas

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and appearance. But it's also your authenticity

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and how you treat people. Am I? Previous career.

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I heard that word a lot when you got to a certain

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level a director level and you wanted to be at

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that VP level or management level They would

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talk about executive presence and I remember

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not completely understanding what that means

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because let's be honest It's sort of subjective

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and it's different to everyone and I think depending

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what company you're at the expectation is different

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So all you can do is think about how are you

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showing up? And I think I've mentioned pie on

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multiple episodes and I'm really excited that

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we'll have Linda here to talk about Pi soon,

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but part of the Pi performance image exposure

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is that image. So it's how people talk about

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you when you're not in the room. How do they

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describe you? How do you portray yourself? How

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are you perceived in meetings and on teams calls?

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Are you present and engaged and poised and confident?

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Or are you sitting in the back of the room? Are

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you not speaking up? Are you sort of slouched

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over and just coming across like you aren't the

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expert in whatever area that you probably are?

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So Executive presence is really important whether

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you want to be a VP CEO or just you want to continue

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to grow in your career you really need to think

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about how you're being portrayed and how you're

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showing up and what you need to do in order to

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be to that next level and I'm sure if we all

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stop and think about people on leadership teams

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that we've worked for in the past you can think

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okay. Yeah, that person was really good, but

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their executive presence they walked into the

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room and everybody knew that they were in charge

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and they were going to be the ones making the

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decision so It's a confidence thing, right? Again,

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it kinda goes back to that confidence part. It's

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how you carry yourself, the confidence, the poise,

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the relationships. So this week, the action item

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is ask yourself, do I carry myself like a leader

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that I want to be? And then pick one area, whether

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it's your voice or your posture or boundaries

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or kindness, and level it up. And actually, I

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think the great part of this is too, is somebody

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that you trust, have that conversation, ask them

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for feedback. How do I show up? What do you think

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about my presence when I'm in the room? Whether

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it's your boss or a peer, it's great to get that

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outside person. The next key takeaway is busyness

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is not a badge of honor. We as women are socialized

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to be helpful, pleasing and nice, but too often

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that turns into chronic busyness and burnout.

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Now let's recap. Have you been listening to prior

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episodes? How many times we talk about being

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busy and overwhelmed and work -life balance.

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I mean, it's come up so much and that's because

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it's an issue. It's an issue for us as women,

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especially where we try to take on so much. So

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the juggling and the prioritizing is so important.

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So how do you get better? There's a reason we

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just kind of have to take a step back as we've

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talked in other episodes about looking at our

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calendar, being intentional, setting boundaries,

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scheduling time for what really matters, and

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just chill. Action item for this week. I know

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this has been an action item in the past, but

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say no to one thing this week that is not aligned

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with your goals. Reclaim your time with intention.

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And if you need more details on that, go back

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and also listen to Julia's episode from a few

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weeks ago. And the last key takeaway, confidence

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is built through gratitude and wins. Now, again,

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confidence has come up a lot in prior episodes

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and we've talked about you have to grow your

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confidence the same way that you grow your muscles

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and it's through practice and reps. Now, I really

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liked what Jill talked about with the mindset

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work and being intentional and the positive affirmation.

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She recommends that a very simple but powerful

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habit that you can do daily is write down three

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things you're grateful for. and what's going

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well every day. It's so easy, right? There's

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always three things to be grateful for. Maybe

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it's something really big. Maybe it's something

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really small. Maybe it's something as much as

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a client that you were trying to get a hold of

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finally called you back or gave you a compliment

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or you got put on a great project. It can be

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little things and it could be bigger things,

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but think about what you're grateful for every

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day and write it down. It's a great habit to

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get into. We also talked about keeping a victory

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folder or a win journal. And I love this. And

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as I mentioned on the podcast, it's something

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that I did and I don't know why I stopped, but

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having a victory file or folder or a wins journal,

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whatever you want to call it. It's just taking

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anything that was a win or a victory and putting

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it in one place, whether it's an email or somebody

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says something really nice about you, gives you

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a compliment. Maybe it's results of a campaign

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that you were part of, but put all of that in

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one spot. call it your wind journal, call it

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your victory notebook, but just continue to compile

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that. It's such an awesome thing in order to

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go back and look at that and say, oh, okay, wow.

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It helps to build your confidence, helps you

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to give you that credibility. And hey, let's

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be honest, honestly, if you were thinking about

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interviewing for a job in the future, you have

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this little wind folder that you can go back

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to and be able to pull ideas of things that happened

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that went really well. That to me is the bonus.

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The more important part is building your confidence

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by keeping track of those wins and what you did

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well. You're not too busy, too emotional, too

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under qualified or too late. You're capable and

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the only thing standing in your way right now

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just might be the story that you're telling yourself.

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Huge thanks to Jill for helping us reframe those

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beliefs and show up as the leaders we were meant

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to be. If this quick lift episode resonated with

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you, please send it to a friend who needs to

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hear it. Make sure you're following us on Instagram

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at Loud and Lifted Podcasts and subscribe wherever

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you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the

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next conversation. Until next time, keep leading,

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keep rewriting and keep getting loud and lifted.