June 4, 2026
Hard Work Isn't Enough: 4 Career Truths to Act On This Week With Roxy Couse
You were sold a plan: do great work, stay dependable, don't make noise, and someone will notice. It doesn't work that way — and the conversation with Roxy Couse named exactly why.
In this Quick Lift, Betsy pulls the four sharpest truths from that episode and gets honest about what each one looks like from inside the rooms where promotion decisions actually get made: why hard work is the price of admission and not the strategy, why being invisible keeps you out of the conversation no matter how good you are, why your manager can't be your whole career, and why you genuinely cannot outwork a bad boss.
Each truth comes with one move you can make this week — not a worksheet, not ten habits, just one. Because awareness doesn't change anything. The first move does.
For the woman who's done everything right and is still wondering why she feels stuck.
Links
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.640
Welcome to Loud and Lifted Quick Lift, where
00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:05.179
I recap a full episode by pulling out the key
00:00:05.179 --> 00:00:07.400
takeaways and give you a few action items you
00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:10.300
can actually use this week. Today's recap is
00:00:10.300 --> 00:00:12.660
from a conversation with Roxy Kaus, who was known
00:00:12.660 --> 00:00:15.599
for her hard truths. And this episode was no
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:18.239
exception. If you were sold that great work speaks
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:21.120
for itself, then this episode is for you. Because
00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:24.160
guess what? It doesn't. It never has. And Roxy
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:27.089
names exactly why. Today, I'm pulling out four
00:00:27.089 --> 00:00:28.769
truths from that conversation and giving you
00:00:28.769 --> 00:00:31.089
one thing to do with each of them this week.
00:00:31.710 --> 00:00:34.369
Truth number one. Hard work isn't the strategy.
00:00:34.530 --> 00:00:37.229
It's the price of admission. Roxy said something
00:00:37.229 --> 00:00:39.969
in the episode that I kept coming back to. She
00:00:39.969 --> 00:00:43.969
said, hard work gets you more work. It does not
00:00:43.969 --> 00:00:46.950
get you more opportunity. Let that sit for a
00:00:46.950 --> 00:00:49.509
second. Because if you're anything like the women
00:00:49.509 --> 00:00:52.450
I know and the women I coach, you were raised
00:00:52.450 --> 00:00:55.130
on the opposite. You were told to put your head
00:00:55.130 --> 00:00:58.219
down. Do the work, be excellent, and someone
00:00:58.219 --> 00:01:00.520
will just notice. And then you put your head
00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:02.399
down, you did the work, and you were excellent
00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:05.620
in what happened. You got more work. Not the
00:01:05.620 --> 00:01:08.019
promotion, not the stretch roll, not even a seat
00:01:08.019 --> 00:01:10.680
at the table. Here's the sting in what Roxy is
00:01:10.680 --> 00:01:13.180
saying that's not a glitch, that the system's
00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:16.280
working exactly as designed. The person who delivers
00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:19.060
quietly becomes the person you give more to because
00:01:19.060 --> 00:01:21.700
they can make your life easier. And they don't
00:01:21.700 --> 00:01:24.000
ask for anything in return. Being good at your
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:26.680
job is the cover charge. It's not the night.
00:01:27.180 --> 00:01:29.599
You don't get celebrated for paying the cover.
00:01:29.819 --> 00:01:32.739
You pay to get in. Now you actually have to do
00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:35.319
something once you're in the room. So the action
00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:38.299
this week, write down three specific wins from
00:01:38.299 --> 00:01:41.989
last month, not big things specific. What got
00:01:41.989 --> 00:01:44.590
faster because of you or cleaner or cheaper?
00:01:45.150 --> 00:01:47.730
What problem did you solve that nobody else was
00:01:47.730 --> 00:01:50.090
solving? Write them down and hold on to them,
00:01:50.170 --> 00:01:52.049
because I'm going to ask you to use them in a
00:01:52.049 --> 00:01:55.189
minute. Hard truth number two. If you're invisible,
00:01:55.390 --> 00:01:58.049
you're not in the conversation. Visibility is
00:01:58.049 --> 00:02:00.510
one of those words that gets a bad rap, especially
00:02:00.510 --> 00:02:02.870
with women. Because the second someone says you
00:02:02.870 --> 00:02:05.469
need to be more visible, we hear you need to
00:02:05.469 --> 00:02:08.479
be louder. You need to self -promote. You need
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:10.460
to be the person in every meeting saying, look
00:02:10.460 --> 00:02:13.259
at me, look at me. That is not what visibility
00:02:13.259 --> 00:02:16.500
means. And Roxy is the proof. She's an introvert.
00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:19.020
She's not the loudest person in any room she's
00:02:19.020 --> 00:02:22.300
ever been in. Her version of visibility was one
00:02:22.300 --> 00:02:25.099
-on -one. It was deliberate conversations with
00:02:25.099 --> 00:02:27.780
the right people about the right work at the
00:02:27.780 --> 00:02:31.710
right time. Quiet, specific, repeated. And that
00:02:31.710 --> 00:02:34.210
counts. And that counts just as much as the person
00:02:34.210 --> 00:02:36.750
who's holding court in all the high hands and
00:02:36.750 --> 00:02:39.110
actually sometimes more. And here's what I'll
00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:41.830
add for my CEO seat. I've spent a lot of years
00:02:41.830 --> 00:02:44.069
on the other side of those rooms, the rooms where
00:02:44.069 --> 00:02:47.050
promotion decisions get made, where succession
00:02:47.050 --> 00:02:50.050
plans get drawn, where someone says we need someone
00:02:50.050 --> 00:02:52.560
for this role. Who do we have? And I'll tell
00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:54.520
you what happens in those rooms. Good people
00:02:54.520 --> 00:02:57.439
get passed over constantly. Not because they
00:02:57.439 --> 00:02:59.960
aren't good, because nobody in that room can
00:02:59.960 --> 00:03:02.580
speak to their work. If the only person who knows
00:03:02.580 --> 00:03:04.780
what you're doing is your manager, and your manager
00:03:04.780 --> 00:03:07.680
isn't in the room or not part of the conversation,
00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:11.580
you're a name on the list. And that's it. Visibility
00:03:11.580 --> 00:03:14.000
isn't a personality trait. It's a logistics problem.
00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:16.539
Who knows your work? How recently? And in what
00:03:16.539 --> 00:03:19.319
detail? Action, not going to be surprised here,
00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:21.879
but pick one visibility habit you'll still be
00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:25.039
doing in three months. Just one, not five. Not
00:03:25.039 --> 00:03:27.580
a whole content strategy, just one thing. Maybe
00:03:27.580 --> 00:03:29.840
it's a monthly coffee with a cross -functional
00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:32.539
partner. A quarterly note to a senior leader
00:03:32.539 --> 00:03:36.139
summarizing what your team did. A standing 15
00:03:36.139 --> 00:03:38.460
-minute walk and talk with someone two levels
00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:42.159
up. One thing that's just sustainable. The point
00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:44.840
isn't to be everywhere. The point is to be somewhere
00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:48.389
consistently. Hard truth number three, your manager
00:03:48.389 --> 00:03:51.169
cannot be your whole career. This one I want
00:03:51.169 --> 00:03:54.150
to take my time on. Roxy's line was, don't let
00:03:54.150 --> 00:03:56.669
your manager get in the way of your career. And
00:03:56.669 --> 00:03:59.409
the first time I heard her say it, I had a very
00:03:59.409 --> 00:04:02.669
specific memory flash. Early in my career, I
00:04:02.669 --> 00:04:04.949
had a boss who liked me. Genuinely, she liked
00:04:04.949 --> 00:04:06.750
me. She said good things about me in rooms I
00:04:06.750 --> 00:04:08.930
wasn't in. And she definitely tried to advocate
00:04:08.930 --> 00:04:11.629
for me. And nothing happened for a long time.
00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:14.159
Nothing happened and I couldn't figure out why.
00:04:14.379 --> 00:04:16.139
I knew I was doing the work and I thought I had
00:04:16.139 --> 00:04:19.740
the exposure and I had her sponsorship. And then
00:04:19.740 --> 00:04:22.019
one day it clicked. It wasn't that she wasn't
00:04:22.019 --> 00:04:24.600
advocating for me. It was that her advocacy wasn't
00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:27.680
worth anything in the building. She wasn't respected
00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.920
by her peers. She wasn't seen as a strong judge
00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:34.060
of talent. So when she said my name and she did
00:04:34.060 --> 00:04:36.839
say my name, it didn't carry. It was just noise.
00:04:37.949 --> 00:04:39.930
That was a hard lesson because she was a good
00:04:39.930 --> 00:04:42.170
person. She was trying. And her trying could
00:04:42.170 --> 00:04:44.350
not move the needle because she didn't have the
00:04:44.350 --> 00:04:47.610
standing in the building. So here's the rule
00:04:47.610 --> 00:04:49.649
that I took from that. And Roxy said a version
00:04:49.649 --> 00:04:52.750
of it in this episode. A manager's advocacy is
00:04:52.750 --> 00:04:55.149
worth exactly their standing in the building.
00:04:55.490 --> 00:04:58.470
No more, no less. If that person speaking your
00:04:58.470 --> 00:05:01.170
name is respected, your name carries. If they're
00:05:01.170 --> 00:05:04.670
not, Your name evaporates, which means one person,
00:05:04.889 --> 00:05:07.589
any one person, as your only path to opportunity
00:05:07.589 --> 00:05:10.769
is a single point of failure. It doesn't matter
00:05:10.769 --> 00:05:12.589
how much they love you. It doesn't matter how
00:05:12.589 --> 00:05:16.230
good they are. One person doesn't work. You need
00:05:16.230 --> 00:05:17.769
more than one person in the building who can
00:05:17.769 --> 00:05:19.629
speak to your work. Not because your manager
00:05:19.629 --> 00:05:22.490
is bad, but because life is uncertain. Managers
00:05:22.490 --> 00:05:25.889
leave. Reorgs happen. Companies change priorities.
00:05:26.709 --> 00:05:29.769
Politics shift. The person who was your champion
00:05:29.769 --> 00:05:33.329
six months ago can be marginalized tomorrow and
00:05:33.329 --> 00:05:35.990
you didn't even see it coming. Action. Remember
00:05:35.990 --> 00:05:38.050
those three wins I asked you to write down? Pull
00:05:38.050 --> 00:05:40.910
them out. Now I want you to pick one senior person.
00:05:41.019 --> 00:05:43.899
outside your reporting line, outside your manager's
00:05:43.899 --> 00:05:46.259
chain, who should know about your work. It could
00:05:46.259 --> 00:05:48.759
be a peer of your manager's, someone two levels
00:05:48.759 --> 00:05:51.300
up in a different function, someone whose opinion
00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:54.339
carries weight in your building. And I want you
00:05:54.339 --> 00:05:56.300
to get one of those wins in front of them this
00:05:56.300 --> 00:05:59.720
month, not as politics, just as ownership. You
00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:02.339
own your career. Your manager's a piece of it,
00:06:02.339 --> 00:06:05.939
but not all of it. Truth four, you cannot outwork
00:06:05.939 --> 00:06:08.709
a bad boss. This is one I really want you to
00:06:08.709 --> 00:06:10.750
think about because this is the one that I see
00:06:10.750 --> 00:06:14.189
costing women the most time and time again. When
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you're working for a bad boss, and I don't mean
00:06:16.050 --> 00:06:18.129
a boss who's annoying or has a different style
00:06:18.129 --> 00:06:20.889
than you, I mean like a bad boss. Someone who
00:06:20.889 --> 00:06:23.410
is undermining you, taking credit for your work,
00:06:23.850 --> 00:06:25.730
isolating you from the rest of the organization,
00:06:26.209 --> 00:06:29.329
or just chaotic enough that you cannot do your
00:06:29.329 --> 00:06:31.629
job. When you're working for that person, the
00:06:31.629 --> 00:06:34.279
instinct is just to work harder. Because we've
00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:36.579
been trained that the answer to every workplace
00:06:36.579 --> 00:06:40.300
problem is more effort. If you just deliver harder,
00:06:40.459 --> 00:06:43.920
perform better, exceed expectations more thoroughly,
00:06:44.579 --> 00:06:46.759
eventually the situation will resolve itself.
00:06:47.100 --> 00:06:49.399
The bad boss will see your value, or someone
00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:51.519
above the bad boss will see your value, or the
00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:53.300
work will speak for itself and you'll get pulled
00:06:53.300 --> 00:06:56.819
up and out. Roxy's right. You cannot outwork
00:06:56.819 --> 00:06:59.639
it. I have watched brilliant women burn themselves
00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:02.360
down to the studs trying to outwork a bad boss.
00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:04.959
And what it takes from them is not just the job.
00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:07.500
It takes their confidence. It takes their sleep.
00:07:07.980 --> 00:07:10.259
It takes their read on their own confidence.
00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:12.459
Because when you're working twice as hard and
00:07:12.459 --> 00:07:14.879
getting half the recognition, after a while you
00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:17.040
start to believe the problem must be you. Because
00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:20.740
what else could it be? It's not you. The work
00:07:20.740 --> 00:07:23.339
environment is the variable. You are the constant.
00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:25.600
If you were brilliant six months ago and you
00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.240
feel like an imposter now, that variable, that
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:30.740
change, is not you. It's the room you're in.
00:07:31.069 --> 00:07:34.069
The question I want you to ask yourself in Roxy
00:07:34.069 --> 00:07:36.930
Asta version of this is, is this role stretching
00:07:36.930 --> 00:07:41.089
me or is it shrinking me? Hard grows you, harmful
00:07:41.089 --> 00:07:44.230
just costs you. There is a difference and you
00:07:44.230 --> 00:07:46.430
know the difference. You feel the difference
00:07:46.430 --> 00:07:48.649
in your body and you feel the difference every
00:07:48.649 --> 00:07:51.610
Sunday night. Action, if the honest answer is
00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:53.709
that the role is shrinking you, start building
00:07:53.709 --> 00:07:57.189
the exit ramp now. Quietly, not dramatically,
00:07:57.490 --> 00:07:59.990
update the resume. Reach out to two people in
00:07:59.990 --> 00:08:02.279
your network this month. Take one informational
00:08:02.279 --> 00:08:04.819
call. You're not quitting tomorrow. You're creating
00:08:04.819 --> 00:08:07.959
options, because options are what give you leverage.
00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:11.240
Desperate is not a negotiation position. The
00:08:11.240 --> 00:08:13.740
day you have somewhere else you could go is the
00:08:13.740 --> 00:08:16.300
day everything about your current situation changes,
00:08:16.980 --> 00:08:19.040
even if you never leave. Here's what I want you
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:22.180
to walk away with. Your career is yours. It's
00:08:22.180 --> 00:08:24.199
not your manager's. It's not your company's.
00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:27.699
It's not your skip levels. It's yours. And ownership
00:08:27.699 --> 00:08:31.709
is not optional. Ownership does not mean be fake.
00:08:32.029 --> 00:08:34.230
It does not mean be loud for just the sake of
00:08:34.230 --> 00:08:37.809
being loud. It doesn't mean play politics. It
00:08:37.809 --> 00:08:40.830
means stop waiting. Stop waiting for the system
00:08:40.830 --> 00:08:44.289
to be fair. Stop waiting to be noticed. Stop
00:08:44.289 --> 00:08:46.970
waiting for the right manager to come along and
00:08:46.970 --> 00:08:50.350
save you. Start being deliberate. The challenge
00:08:50.350 --> 00:08:52.789
from this episode, and I mean this, is one move
00:08:52.789 --> 00:08:55.590
this week. Not all four, one. Pick the truth
00:08:55.590 --> 00:08:57.909
that landed the hardest and do that action for
00:08:57.909 --> 00:09:01.409
that one. That's it. Roxy's truth, the one underneath
00:09:01.409 --> 00:09:04.250
all four of these, is that no one is coming to
00:09:04.250 --> 00:09:07.070
save your career. And I know how that sounds.
00:09:07.210 --> 00:09:09.690
It sounds cold. It sounds like a slap. But I
00:09:09.690 --> 00:09:11.710
want you to hear it the way she meant it and
00:09:11.710 --> 00:09:14.570
the way I'm telling it to you now. It's the opposite
00:09:14.570 --> 00:09:17.669
of cold. Because the day you really believe it,
00:09:18.110 --> 00:09:20.830
the day you stop waiting to be saved, is the
00:09:20.830 --> 00:09:24.519
day your career actually becomes yours. Go listen
00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:26.379
to the full conversation with Roxy. There's so
00:09:26.379 --> 00:09:28.539
much more in there I could have put into 10 minutes,
00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:31.340
including the specific script she uses, the moment
00:09:31.340 --> 00:09:33.899
she changed her own playbook, and the conversation
00:09:33.899 --> 00:09:35.879
about what to do when you're the only one in
00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:39.080
the room who looks like you. Link to the full
00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:41.399
episode in the show notes. Until next time, stay
00:09:41.399 --> 00:09:42.620
loud and stay lifted.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.640
Welcome to Loud and Lifted Quick Lift, where
00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:05.179
I recap a full episode by pulling out the key
00:00:05.179 --> 00:00:07.400
takeaways and give you a few action items you
00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:10.300
can actually use this week. Today's recap is
00:00:10.300 --> 00:00:12.660
from a conversation with Roxy Kaus, who was known
00:00:12.660 --> 00:00:15.599
for her hard truths. And this episode was no
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:18.239
exception. If you were sold that great work speaks
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:21.120
for itself, then this episode is for you. Because
00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:24.160
guess what? It doesn't. It never has. And Roxy
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:27.089
names exactly why. Today, I'm pulling out four
00:00:27.089 --> 00:00:28.769
truths from that conversation and giving you
00:00:28.769 --> 00:00:31.089
one thing to do with each of them this week.
00:00:31.710 --> 00:00:34.369
Truth number one. Hard work isn't the strategy.
00:00:34.530 --> 00:00:37.229
It's the price of admission. Roxy said something
00:00:37.229 --> 00:00:39.969
in the episode that I kept coming back to. She
00:00:39.969 --> 00:00:43.969
said, hard work gets you more work. It does not
00:00:43.969 --> 00:00:46.950
get you more opportunity. Let that sit for a
00:00:46.950 --> 00:00:49.509
second. Because if you're anything like the women
00:00:49.509 --> 00:00:52.450
I know and the women I coach, you were raised
00:00:52.450 --> 00:00:55.130
on the opposite. You were told to put your head
00:00:55.130 --> 00:00:58.219
down. Do the work, be excellent, and someone
00:00:58.219 --> 00:01:00.520
will just notice. And then you put your head
00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:02.399
down, you did the work, and you were excellent
00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:05.620
in what happened. You got more work. Not the
00:01:05.620 --> 00:01:08.019
promotion, not the stretch roll, not even a seat
00:01:08.019 --> 00:01:10.680
at the table. Here's the sting in what Roxy is
00:01:10.680 --> 00:01:13.180
saying that's not a glitch, that the system's
00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:16.280
working exactly as designed. The person who delivers
00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:19.060
quietly becomes the person you give more to because
00:01:19.060 --> 00:01:21.700
they can make your life easier. And they don't
00:01:21.700 --> 00:01:24.000
ask for anything in return. Being good at your
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:26.680
job is the cover charge. It's not the night.
00:01:27.180 --> 00:01:29.599
You don't get celebrated for paying the cover.
00:01:29.819 --> 00:01:32.739
You pay to get in. Now you actually have to do
00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:35.319
something once you're in the room. So the action
00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:38.299
this week, write down three specific wins from
00:01:38.299 --> 00:01:41.989
last month, not big things specific. What got
00:01:41.989 --> 00:01:44.590
faster because of you or cleaner or cheaper?
00:01:45.150 --> 00:01:47.730
What problem did you solve that nobody else was
00:01:47.730 --> 00:01:50.090
solving? Write them down and hold on to them,
00:01:50.170 --> 00:01:52.049
because I'm going to ask you to use them in a
00:01:52.049 --> 00:01:55.189
minute. Hard truth number two. If you're invisible,
00:01:55.390 --> 00:01:58.049
you're not in the conversation. Visibility is
00:01:58.049 --> 00:02:00.510
one of those words that gets a bad rap, especially
00:02:00.510 --> 00:02:02.870
with women. Because the second someone says you
00:02:02.870 --> 00:02:05.469
need to be more visible, we hear you need to
00:02:05.469 --> 00:02:08.479
be louder. You need to self -promote. You need
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:10.460
to be the person in every meeting saying, look
00:02:10.460 --> 00:02:13.259
at me, look at me. That is not what visibility
00:02:13.259 --> 00:02:16.500
means. And Roxy is the proof. She's an introvert.
00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:19.020
She's not the loudest person in any room she's
00:02:19.020 --> 00:02:22.300
ever been in. Her version of visibility was one
00:02:22.300 --> 00:02:25.099
-on -one. It was deliberate conversations with
00:02:25.099 --> 00:02:27.780
the right people about the right work at the
00:02:27.780 --> 00:02:31.710
right time. Quiet, specific, repeated. And that
00:02:31.710 --> 00:02:34.210
counts. And that counts just as much as the person
00:02:34.210 --> 00:02:36.750
who's holding court in all the high hands and
00:02:36.750 --> 00:02:39.110
actually sometimes more. And here's what I'll
00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:41.830
add for my CEO seat. I've spent a lot of years
00:02:41.830 --> 00:02:44.069
on the other side of those rooms, the rooms where
00:02:44.069 --> 00:02:47.050
promotion decisions get made, where succession
00:02:47.050 --> 00:02:50.050
plans get drawn, where someone says we need someone
00:02:50.050 --> 00:02:52.560
for this role. Who do we have? And I'll tell
00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:54.520
you what happens in those rooms. Good people
00:02:54.520 --> 00:02:57.439
get passed over constantly. Not because they
00:02:57.439 --> 00:02:59.960
aren't good, because nobody in that room can
00:02:59.960 --> 00:03:02.580
speak to their work. If the only person who knows
00:03:02.580 --> 00:03:04.780
what you're doing is your manager, and your manager
00:03:04.780 --> 00:03:07.680
isn't in the room or not part of the conversation,
00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:11.580
you're a name on the list. And that's it. Visibility
00:03:11.580 --> 00:03:14.000
isn't a personality trait. It's a logistics problem.
00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:16.539
Who knows your work? How recently? And in what
00:03:16.539 --> 00:03:19.319
detail? Action, not going to be surprised here,
00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:21.879
but pick one visibility habit you'll still be
00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:25.039
doing in three months. Just one, not five. Not
00:03:25.039 --> 00:03:27.580
a whole content strategy, just one thing. Maybe
00:03:27.580 --> 00:03:29.840
it's a monthly coffee with a cross -functional
00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:32.539
partner. A quarterly note to a senior leader
00:03:32.539 --> 00:03:36.139
summarizing what your team did. A standing 15
00:03:36.139 --> 00:03:38.460
-minute walk and talk with someone two levels
00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:42.159
up. One thing that's just sustainable. The point
00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:44.840
isn't to be everywhere. The point is to be somewhere
00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:48.389
consistently. Hard truth number three, your manager
00:03:48.389 --> 00:03:51.169
cannot be your whole career. This one I want
00:03:51.169 --> 00:03:54.150
to take my time on. Roxy's line was, don't let
00:03:54.150 --> 00:03:56.669
your manager get in the way of your career. And
00:03:56.669 --> 00:03:59.409
the first time I heard her say it, I had a very
00:03:59.409 --> 00:04:02.669
specific memory flash. Early in my career, I
00:04:02.669 --> 00:04:04.949
had a boss who liked me. Genuinely, she liked
00:04:04.949 --> 00:04:06.750
me. She said good things about me in rooms I
00:04:06.750 --> 00:04:08.930
wasn't in. And she definitely tried to advocate
00:04:08.930 --> 00:04:11.629
for me. And nothing happened for a long time.
00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:14.159
Nothing happened and I couldn't figure out why.
00:04:14.379 --> 00:04:16.139
I knew I was doing the work and I thought I had
00:04:16.139 --> 00:04:19.740
the exposure and I had her sponsorship. And then
00:04:19.740 --> 00:04:22.019
one day it clicked. It wasn't that she wasn't
00:04:22.019 --> 00:04:24.600
advocating for me. It was that her advocacy wasn't
00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:27.680
worth anything in the building. She wasn't respected
00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.920
by her peers. She wasn't seen as a strong judge
00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:34.060
of talent. So when she said my name and she did
00:04:34.060 --> 00:04:36.839
say my name, it didn't carry. It was just noise.
00:04:37.949 --> 00:04:39.930
That was a hard lesson because she was a good
00:04:39.930 --> 00:04:42.170
person. She was trying. And her trying could
00:04:42.170 --> 00:04:44.350
not move the needle because she didn't have the
00:04:44.350 --> 00:04:47.610
standing in the building. So here's the rule
00:04:47.610 --> 00:04:49.649
that I took from that. And Roxy said a version
00:04:49.649 --> 00:04:52.750
of it in this episode. A manager's advocacy is
00:04:52.750 --> 00:04:55.149
worth exactly their standing in the building.
00:04:55.490 --> 00:04:58.470
No more, no less. If that person speaking your
00:04:58.470 --> 00:05:01.170
name is respected, your name carries. If they're
00:05:01.170 --> 00:05:04.670
not, Your name evaporates, which means one person,
00:05:04.889 --> 00:05:07.589
any one person, as your only path to opportunity
00:05:07.589 --> 00:05:10.769
is a single point of failure. It doesn't matter
00:05:10.769 --> 00:05:12.589
how much they love you. It doesn't matter how
00:05:12.589 --> 00:05:16.230
good they are. One person doesn't work. You need
00:05:16.230 --> 00:05:17.769
more than one person in the building who can
00:05:17.769 --> 00:05:19.629
speak to your work. Not because your manager
00:05:19.629 --> 00:05:22.490
is bad, but because life is uncertain. Managers
00:05:22.490 --> 00:05:25.889
leave. Reorgs happen. Companies change priorities.
00:05:26.709 --> 00:05:29.769
Politics shift. The person who was your champion
00:05:29.769 --> 00:05:33.329
six months ago can be marginalized tomorrow and
00:05:33.329 --> 00:05:35.990
you didn't even see it coming. Action. Remember
00:05:35.990 --> 00:05:38.050
those three wins I asked you to write down? Pull
00:05:38.050 --> 00:05:40.910
them out. Now I want you to pick one senior person.
00:05:41.019 --> 00:05:43.899
outside your reporting line, outside your manager's
00:05:43.899 --> 00:05:46.259
chain, who should know about your work. It could
00:05:46.259 --> 00:05:48.759
be a peer of your manager's, someone two levels
00:05:48.759 --> 00:05:51.300
up in a different function, someone whose opinion
00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:54.339
carries weight in your building. And I want you
00:05:54.339 --> 00:05:56.300
to get one of those wins in front of them this
00:05:56.300 --> 00:05:59.720
month, not as politics, just as ownership. You
00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:02.339
own your career. Your manager's a piece of it,
00:06:02.339 --> 00:06:05.939
but not all of it. Truth four, you cannot outwork
00:06:05.939 --> 00:06:08.709
a bad boss. This is one I really want you to
00:06:08.709 --> 00:06:10.750
think about because this is the one that I see
00:06:10.750 --> 00:06:14.189
costing women the most time and time again. When
00:06:14.189 --> 00:06:16.050
you're working for a bad boss, and I don't mean
00:06:16.050 --> 00:06:18.129
a boss who's annoying or has a different style
00:06:18.129 --> 00:06:20.889
than you, I mean like a bad boss. Someone who
00:06:20.889 --> 00:06:23.410
is undermining you, taking credit for your work,
00:06:23.850 --> 00:06:25.730
isolating you from the rest of the organization,
00:06:26.209 --> 00:06:29.329
or just chaotic enough that you cannot do your
00:06:29.329 --> 00:06:31.629
job. When you're working for that person, the
00:06:31.629 --> 00:06:34.279
instinct is just to work harder. Because we've
00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:36.579
been trained that the answer to every workplace
00:06:36.579 --> 00:06:40.300
problem is more effort. If you just deliver harder,
00:06:40.459 --> 00:06:43.920
perform better, exceed expectations more thoroughly,
00:06:44.579 --> 00:06:46.759
eventually the situation will resolve itself.
00:06:47.100 --> 00:06:49.399
The bad boss will see your value, or someone
00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:51.519
above the bad boss will see your value, or the
00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:53.300
work will speak for itself and you'll get pulled
00:06:53.300 --> 00:06:56.819
up and out. Roxy's right. You cannot outwork
00:06:56.819 --> 00:06:59.639
it. I have watched brilliant women burn themselves
00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:02.360
down to the studs trying to outwork a bad boss.
00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:04.959
And what it takes from them is not just the job.
00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:07.500
It takes their confidence. It takes their sleep.
00:07:07.980 --> 00:07:10.259
It takes their read on their own confidence.
00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:12.459
Because when you're working twice as hard and
00:07:12.459 --> 00:07:14.879
getting half the recognition, after a while you
00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:17.040
start to believe the problem must be you. Because
00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:20.740
what else could it be? It's not you. The work
00:07:20.740 --> 00:07:23.339
environment is the variable. You are the constant.
00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:25.600
If you were brilliant six months ago and you
00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.240
feel like an imposter now, that variable, that
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:30.740
change, is not you. It's the room you're in.
00:07:31.069 --> 00:07:34.069
The question I want you to ask yourself in Roxy
00:07:34.069 --> 00:07:36.930
Asta version of this is, is this role stretching
00:07:36.930 --> 00:07:41.089
me or is it shrinking me? Hard grows you, harmful
00:07:41.089 --> 00:07:44.230
just costs you. There is a difference and you
00:07:44.230 --> 00:07:46.430
know the difference. You feel the difference
00:07:46.430 --> 00:07:48.649
in your body and you feel the difference every
00:07:48.649 --> 00:07:51.610
Sunday night. Action, if the honest answer is
00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:53.709
that the role is shrinking you, start building
00:07:53.709 --> 00:07:57.189
the exit ramp now. Quietly, not dramatically,
00:07:57.490 --> 00:07:59.990
update the resume. Reach out to two people in
00:07:59.990 --> 00:08:02.279
your network this month. Take one informational
00:08:02.279 --> 00:08:04.819
call. You're not quitting tomorrow. You're creating
00:08:04.819 --> 00:08:07.959
options, because options are what give you leverage.
00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:11.240
Desperate is not a negotiation position. The
00:08:11.240 --> 00:08:13.740
day you have somewhere else you could go is the
00:08:13.740 --> 00:08:16.300
day everything about your current situation changes,
00:08:16.980 --> 00:08:19.040
even if you never leave. Here's what I want you
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:22.180
to walk away with. Your career is yours. It's
00:08:22.180 --> 00:08:24.199
not your manager's. It's not your company's.
00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:27.699
It's not your skip levels. It's yours. And ownership
00:08:27.699 --> 00:08:31.709
is not optional. Ownership does not mean be fake.
00:08:32.029 --> 00:08:34.230
It does not mean be loud for just the sake of
00:08:34.230 --> 00:08:37.809
being loud. It doesn't mean play politics. It
00:08:37.809 --> 00:08:40.830
means stop waiting. Stop waiting for the system
00:08:40.830 --> 00:08:44.289
to be fair. Stop waiting to be noticed. Stop
00:08:44.289 --> 00:08:46.970
waiting for the right manager to come along and
00:08:46.970 --> 00:08:50.350
save you. Start being deliberate. The challenge
00:08:50.350 --> 00:08:52.789
from this episode, and I mean this, is one move
00:08:52.789 --> 00:08:55.590
this week. Not all four, one. Pick the truth
00:08:55.590 --> 00:08:57.909
that landed the hardest and do that action for
00:08:57.909 --> 00:09:01.409
that one. That's it. Roxy's truth, the one underneath
00:09:01.409 --> 00:09:04.250
all four of these, is that no one is coming to
00:09:04.250 --> 00:09:07.070
save your career. And I know how that sounds.
00:09:07.210 --> 00:09:09.690
It sounds cold. It sounds like a slap. But I
00:09:09.690 --> 00:09:11.710
want you to hear it the way she meant it and
00:09:11.710 --> 00:09:14.570
the way I'm telling it to you now. It's the opposite
00:09:14.570 --> 00:09:17.669
of cold. Because the day you really believe it,
00:09:18.110 --> 00:09:20.830
the day you stop waiting to be saved, is the
00:09:20.830 --> 00:09:24.519
day your career actually becomes yours. Go listen
00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:26.379
to the full conversation with Roxy. There's so
00:09:26.379 --> 00:09:28.539
much more in there I could have put into 10 minutes,
00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:31.340
including the specific script she uses, the moment
00:09:31.340 --> 00:09:33.899
she changed her own playbook, and the conversation
00:09:33.899 --> 00:09:35.879
about what to do when you're the only one in
00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:39.080
the room who looks like you. Link to the full
00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:41.399
episode in the show notes. Until next time, stay
00:09:41.399 --> 00:09:42.620
loud and stay lifted.
