Quick Lift: Leading Through Bad Bosses (and Not Becoming One)

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Welcome to Loud and Lifted Quick Lift, your under

10 -minute hit of a clarity in action. I'm your

host, Betsy Ham. Today, we're ripping a few pages

from Mita Malik's playbook, The Devil Emails

at Midnight, aka how to spot bad bosses in others

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and ourselves and lead better, starting today.

Her new book is a candid look at 13 types of

bad bosses, including the chapter where Meeta

owns the time she was one. The throw line, we

can't change other people, but we can change

ourselves. And we can lead with courage when

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we're stuck in tough cultures. Here are the takeaways

and what to do next. Key takeaway number one,

start with you. Self -awareness is the lever.

Mita shared the story about how she was a bad

boss after she was dealing with guilt after her

father's death. And the reality is we all have

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our bad boss moments and you have to take a minute

and reflect on this. I mean... Don't get me wrong.

I have definitely had my bad boss moments where

I was the bad boss. And one example I think of

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early in my career, let's talk about something

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that happened a long time ago because it seems

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easier. I had people report to me when I was

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fairly young and they were older than me. And

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I really struggled with holding them accountable.

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And I wanted them to like me and I wanted them

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to respect me. So I kind of let them walk all

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over me thinking that was a way to get them.

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to like me. Now, I'm sure they probably did because

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a lot of them are doing whatever they wanted

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to, but that's not a good boss. I needed to set

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expectations and be very clear on what they were

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responsible for doing and hold them accountable.

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And that was certainly one of my bad boss moments.

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Don't worry, there's plenty more, but we'll save

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that for another day. So I think this also ties

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nicely into what we talked about in Lindsay's

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episode where she said you need to take a step

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back and ask your team members, how can I be

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a better boss for you? So that's our takeaway

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here and our action item is ask the people who

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are on your team. How can you be a better boss

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for them? And then fix one of those leadership

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habits. It's really easy to point out the flaws

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in other people, but at times we need to take

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a step back and make sure that we are showing

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up as good as we can. Next, respect is non -negotiable.

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Correct misnaming, mislabeling in the moment

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and back others up. Meet a story about her boss

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who kept calling her the wrong name. Literally

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was making me cringe as she told the story. Having

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somebody who was so disrespectful that they couldn't

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call you the right name for months. This wasn't

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one time. It was for months. He knew her name

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and chose not to use it. That is just. mortifying

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to hear that she had to go through that. And

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what I think is equally as disturbing is nobody

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else around her stood up for her. So if you see

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something, say something. It's bad enough that

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that behavior was going on, but the fact that

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nobody else had her back and said, Hey, you probably

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should stop calling her this is just baffling

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to me and you know sometimes it can be a name

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that someone's using and I go back to times especially

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when you're younger in your career you might

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be labeled the marketing girl or the intern and

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some of those things are just not being respected

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so if this is happening you need to have the

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action item of sticking up for yourself and as

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I mentioned also sticking up for other people

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if you see something say something whether it's

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to you or to someone else on your your team.

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Next up, you can't outwork a bully. Meeta talked

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about how she was driven by fear. She had a boss

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that was just so intense and so demanding. And

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so she worked really, really hard and really,

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really long because she just tried to stay out

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of her way and under the radar. But eventually

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that's not sustainable. So she became disengaged

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and became not a great employee. So if you're

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in this situation, you really do need to figure

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out how you can get help. Sometimes that requires

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documenting, getting allies, and maybe it's choosing.

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Do you escalate it? Do you go past that person

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to someone else? Do you try to get a different

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role within the organization? Or do you have

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to work on your exit plan? No matter what your

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situation is, if you're being disrespected or

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you're being bullied by your boss, you definitely

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have to do something about that. That's not a

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situation that you can stay in in a toxic environment.

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So as we even discussed in past episodes, it's

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figuring out how do you get out of that situation?

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Is it transferring to another department? Is

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it going around that person, which you have to

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be very, very careful if that's your choice,

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to be able to escalate it, or maybe it's time

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to see if you're able to move on. Next is re

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-engage the disengaged. Now, when Meeta was telling...

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the story about the napper. It was kind of funny

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having a boss who was literally falling asleep

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in meetings is just wild. I can't imagine consistently.

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I think we probably all can think of a meeting

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where we've been in where somebody was falling

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asleep. I definitely have had that happen in

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the past, but consistently falling asleep, the

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dude was disengaged, right? And that's not good

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for culture. It's not good for the environment.

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And his boss wasn't holding him accountable.

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And if you're in the situation where somebody

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is disengaged, maybe they're not actually falling

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asleep in meetings because that kind of is the

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extreme. But if you know that there's somebody

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in your team that's disengaged, you have to have

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the conversation with them. Sometimes somebody

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needs to have just that nudge to be able to be

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honest. Maybe they are very unhappy. Maybe there's

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something else going on. So first is kind of

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seeking to understand, is there something going

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on? Are they having issues in their personal

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life that need to be dealt with? But maybe they

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need that permission that this isn't working

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and it is okay for them to move on. And while

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this typically needs to come from a manager,

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it's not a bad thing that if you see somebody

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on your team that you have a good relationship

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with, that you do say the same thing to them.

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Hey, what's going on? I'm just checking in. Are

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you OK? Is there anything you need help with?

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Is there anything going on in your personal life

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that's impacting how you're showing up at work?

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It's just having somebody feel like they care

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and also giving them that opportunity to maybe

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share something that they haven't been comfortable

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to in the past. So the takeaway here is if you

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say to someone, hey, I've observed A, B, and

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C. How are you? What would it take to make you

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excited to work here again? Then listen and co

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-plan next steps. It may be getting them re -engaged

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and it may be time for them to move on. And the

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last takeaway is if you're dealing with any of

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these bad bosses that we discussed from the book,

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if you're stuck, set an expiration date. You're

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gonna have bad bosses. It's not... if it's when

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and it's how often. And sometimes you can work

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through that and sometimes you have to move on.

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So if that's the case, then figure out how you're

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going to move on. And this goes back to making

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sure that you're building up your personal brand,

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you have a good image and you're getting that

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exposure. Whether it's inside your company, maybe

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there's a role that you can move to in a different

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department, but maybe you need to look elsewhere.

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So making sure that you have your LinkedIn profile

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buttons up, that your resume is updated. And

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today's environment, those are things that you

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should always be staying on top of. You just

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never know. But set an expiration. How long are

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you able to handle this situation and what are

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you going to do to get out of it? Assuming that

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your boss isn't going somewhere. Sometimes you

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get lucky and they do. But if not, you need to

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have that plan, whether it's finding another

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job within your company or looking elsewhere.

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The other thing I thought that was great that

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you talked about is while this is going on, doesn't

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feel good, right? You have to start rebuilding

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your confidence outside of work. So maybe you

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start doing a running club or maybe you start

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going to yoga or going to the gym or volunteering

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but finding things that you like to do that are

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going to make you feel good because nobody feels

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good when they're in a bad work environment.

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all the time. So takeaways from here is schedule

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one confidence -fueling activity weekly, whether

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it's writing, volunteering, or coaching a sport,

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and protect it like it's a meeting. And then

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the second part is pick that expiration date.

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Maybe it's six months from now, maybe it's 12

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months from now, maybe it's only 90 days. But

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update your resume with specific wins, grow internal

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and external exposure, and line up some projects

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that showcase your value. It's inevitable. You're

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going to have bad bosses. Some you can work with

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or work around. others, you'll have to decide

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what your next step is in or out of the organization.

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But always have a plan and always have self -awareness.

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No one is perfect, but make sure you aren't taking

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on the traits of being a bad boss. And if you're

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not sure, ask the people around you. As always,

if this episode hit, please share it with a friend

and be sure to follow us on Instagram for a daily

dose of development. Until next time, stay loud,

stay lifted and don't send any emails at midnight.